Pride Week a beacon of hope for those overcoming adversity, injustices

As Montreal celebrates Pride week, many in the 2SLGBTQ+ community are finding it a beacon of hope as they try to overcome adversity and injustices.

Zahra Haider is one of those many that are celebrating this week. But as a Queer, Muslim, South Asian woman living in Montreal and originally from Pakistan, she says she’s faced many challenges surrounding sexuality, spiritualism and who she was.

“It can be very isolating,” said Haider. “It’s a very lonely experience. Especially when you’re in the west and you’re already dealing with white supremacy and race stuff and you’re like, ‘oh great, I’m a racialized person and I’m Queer, this can’t be worse.’

“I grew up Muslim and when I was a teenager, I started dealing with all these things and I started questioning Islam. I became very nihilistic and existentialist I guess. I was just like, ‘there can’t be a God.’ I was just very much in my teenage angst kind of brain. Especially as a Queer person, we’re already so alienated. Spirituality has probably saved my life multiple times.

“Relationships with cis men that felt off, it just didn’t feel like it was what I wanted, but just what I was doing because it was what was socio-culturally acceptable. I moved to Canada when I was 18 and I definitely had more freedom of movement here, I can’t deny that. Because of that, I think it was around my mid-20s that I could finally be like, ‘OK, I’m Queer.'”

Despite coming to terms with her identity, Haider continues to face challenges.

“Feeling like I’m inadequate or that there’s something wrong with me. My sister for example does everything right and I’m the one who is dysfunctional according to my parents. And so I think it’s just that feeling that why I can’t be normal even though I know logically that it’s not really an argument. It’s just this shame that really never goes away as a Muslim, South Asian person.”

But it’s Haider’s faith that has kept her grounded.

“Being spiritual, having Islam, that’s what helped my ancestors get by for so long. That really made me feel really held. It made me want to reinstate my belief in Islam, in Allah. That I am worthy of everybody’s love.”